The picture above speaks volumes. How does one continue to fall in love with the same person over and over? Especially when some have such a skewed version of love? I will admit, I have been married twice before, and divorced twice. As of right now I’m all about 3rd time’s a charm. I’m confident in my marriage, I’m happy in my marriage, and most importantly I don’t have one foot out the door like I did in my previous two. I don’t think I ever felt fully committed and confident in my prior marriages. I feel bad saying that, it wasn’t fair to them or myself. I have lived and learned and that is why this time I did everything I possibly could the right way for us. I do fall in love with my husband over and over, I see him in new ways every day and this is a choice I make.
Relationships are hard work, no one ever thinks they should be though, we have placed an unfair and unrealistic expectation on each other. We think it should be passion and fireworks all day every day- news flash: that takes A LOT of energy to maintain and most of us live in the real world where jobs, kids, LIFE are all competing for our attention, if all you have is passion the relationship will eventually fizzle out. The reality is if you build a foundation of friendship, trust, and communication all the other stuff is bonus material! Obviously there’s got to be an initial attraction to get things going, but I believe that if a successful relationship is to be maintained you have to get that foundation built first.
We all strive for happy relationships, I strive for contentment which to me is more powerful than happiness because it’s an inner peace and joy that I feel when I’m with my husband. I feel alive inside when we’re together and that is far greater to me than happiness. Happiness to me are the cherished moments that we share- like on our wedding day, or when we’re filming an awesome interview, or helping the homeless. I guess I could just be talking semantics at this point about what happiness is or isn’t. I know everyone’s definition is different and everyone’s approach to relationships is different, but if we could make it more real instead of fantastical I think more people would be successful. What would it be like if we stopped saying our relationships should all be like romantic comedies and started focusing on who we are with the other person and who they are with us.
What kind of marriage or relationship do you want?