Learning to Live Again…and Again..

live again

 (Image by anarchy-camp.com)

It seems life lessons are never out of stock, they are there for  you no matter what. You are born, you learn to crawl before you walk and to talk usually before that, at least that’s how it went for me. Through all this learning I’ve sometimes found myself thinking will there ever be an end point, will there ever come a point when my brain says -ENOUGH! I CAN TAKE NO MORE! I surely hope not. I find that I’m constantly learning how to live over and over again, one path takes me one way, then I zig instead of zag and BAM! next thing I know I’m walking into walls with no windows or doors, just an endless hall way or sometimes a round room with no corners to hide in. I go passionately towards the thing that will fill me up the most and then fall flat on my face inches before reaching it. So, I learn to live again, changing over and over again to “fit” into something.

I’d really rather fit into my own skin. I’ve been fighting for life for 35 years, fighting instead of embracing. Who am I but the words floating around inside my head like little thought bubbles waiting to burst. What do I want? Why do I stop myself? I am the only roadblock in my own way right? Where does my worth lie? Why do I keep settling for what doesn’t actually serve to inspire me? How can I create that space in life? How can I learn to live again without fear?

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